Saturday, April 14, 2012

Welcome back

Hello friends and other people who may have just stumbled upon this little slice of fried gold i like to call my blog.  I am sorry for not posting in a while and have but one question.  Did ya miss me?  Now i call forth the only slightly not good demons of cynicism and wit to tell you the tale of thing that fall under the topic of "What i really wanted to say was...." Oh you know those moments.  Such as when you do something really well and some person who wants to flex their "I want to feel like I am better than you at everything ever." muscle comes up and says "Hey I thought you were good, I am sure you will do better next time."  and you say "Well thank you." but you really want to say something like "Don't patronize me you nincompoop, I rocked that, now leave before I defenestrate you!"  but you don't because that would be rude and only slightly illegal.  Or whenever you say "I just started reading (insert name of book here), it is pretty good so far."  and the returning moron says "Oh have you gotten to (awesome plot twist that I am pretty sure they know i have not gotten to yet)?"  and you respond with "Oh no I have not yet, I will be on the lookout for that."  when all you really want to say is "There is a special ring in whichever penal afterlife land of your choosing for people who ruin books such as yourself, please enjoy having your teeth chipped away by little faerie people who feed on happiness and replace what they take with dog farts, stale cheese balls and sadness, for all eternity."  Thank you for reading and to one and all please count the shadows.